she was so not down for the gang bang
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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