Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
