I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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