are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
