This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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