She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
