dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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