Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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