Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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