We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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