Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
