I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
