Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
