he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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