Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
