roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
