Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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