At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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