Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
