If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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