I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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