Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
