i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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