she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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