Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
