true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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