roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
