Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
