I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
