Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
