im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
