Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
