She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
