I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
