grandma shit on top of the toilet
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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