THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
