Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
