i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Girls should come with a carfax report
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
