You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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