Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
