she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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