No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
