plz talk dirty to me
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Sext me about skeletons
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
