I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
they need to just BURY HIM!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
