even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
