we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
