college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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