I just cut my nipple shaving
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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