You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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