people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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