We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
