brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
People with herpes should wear stickers.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
