so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Randomize
