Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
