I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
