I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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