I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
