ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you mean i was at the winter classic?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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