Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
