Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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