We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
