Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
