Non-Jews are for practice
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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