Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
